Stranded!

Don't you hate when you buy something at the store and then it gets left in the bagging section? This happened to Ms. Lady Daddy (btw he now answers the phone this way) this weekend. And yes he does most of the grocery shopping. It excites him greatly to save money. The item he left behind---- TOILET PAPER!

 So here I am stranded in the bathroom. You would think I would remember after the first time it happened today but since becoming a mom my brain is mush. Thankfully Ladybug was happy to go and get some napkins from the kitchen. This happened a second time and I start to scour the trash can for anything I could use since Ladybug was outside with her cousin. Then the third time it never even crossed my mind. I was excited to go for an "extended stay" by myself. Ms. Lady Daddy was home, but we don't do the whole share the bathroom when it's occupied thing, so Ladybug was my only hope again.

  
Ms. Lady Mama:     Ladybug....Ladybug........LADYBUG!

Ladybug: (shouting) uh huh

Ms. Lady Mama: Ladybug can you bring me some napkins?

Ladybug:      Huh?

Ms. Lady Mama: Can you please bring me some napkins?

Ladybug:   (opens bathroom door) I am tired (said in a whiny fashion)
                   (starts to enter  Dash's room where he is sleeping   peacefully) 

Ms. Lady Mama: (angrily) Ladybug do not go into his room! Do not wake him up! 
                             (sweetly)  Now will you please get Ms. Lady Mama some napkins? 

Ladybug:              No 

Ms. Lady Mama: Please

Ladybug:             No 

Ms. Lady Mama: I brought you into this world and I can take you out! I have wiped your butt  every single time you have pottied (except for maybe 10 times). Now march your scrawny butt to the kitchen and get this Lady some napkins! 

 Ok that last part may have taken place in my head, but eventually she did get me some napkins. Thank goodness. Maybe Ms. Lady Daddy and I need to rethink our bathroom policies... Or then again maybe that IS the secret to making a marriage last.

Blog Hop

MDO Worries Part Deux

     MDO open house is this week and I have new fears arising as I observe Ladybug.  She seems very excited although I feel that will fade when she realizes I am going to leave her there.  We have passed her "school" practically everyday and she shouts "There's my school! And you're going to take me, and I am going to play, and color, and have lunch, and lay down, and then you get me." I went through a potential schedule with her once and since she has rattled it off almost daily.  As the first day approaches I am finding that there are a few behaviors that might not be so highly looked upon at the Baptist church:

•       While potty training I might have taught Ladybug to tell the potty when she flushes to, "Keep the change ya filthy animal." ( a la Home Alone) Maybe not the most ladylike thing but it helped in the overall potty training process or at least kept us laughing.
• If you ask Ladybug what a pirate says she will tell you " Yo Yo Ho!" Thanks Jake and the Neverland Pirates. It has made Ms. Lady Daddy and I laugh so we never corrected her.  We live on the "east side" (insert gang hand symbol here) and thought probably yes an east side pirate would say "Yo Yo Ho."
• I have no one to blame but myself for this one...sometimes, randomly Ladybug has terets.  Maybe when she is seeking attention? I can have a not so ladylike mouth that I have been working on, but definitely think it will need medication.  And we have a very high strung dog that causes my mouth to say things I have never said in my life.  This dog runs out the door every time it is opened, wanting to go with us or just to annoy me.  I am not proud of what comes out of my mouth.  Actually I am horrified, especially when you hear you sweet little princess beat you to the punch and says "Funkin damnit!" Horrified isn't even a big enough word.  Ms. Lady Daddy was there the first time ( he has never uttered those words in his life-seriously) which made it all worse.  She said this 5 times! My emotions went from horror to trying to stifle a laugh.  It was funny,  Funny and awful.  Thankfully we haven't heard it in a while, but not long ago randomly in the car she just starts shouting "Damnit!"  No reason.  She just wanted to know if I was listening.

So here's  to hoping that the teachers always listen to Ladybug because she will test you, and that no one wants to play pirates!

Got Milk?

Breastfeeding....yes Dash is still being nursed. I am not sure how I feel about it. With Ladybug I took the classes, decided I would try it but thought it would only last 6 months tops. We had a very rocky start, but she didn't stop completely til I was pregnant with Dash. It took 5 weeks, 5 very long weeks, til she got the hang of it. I never understood why people went on about how hard it was until I experienced it.  We started weaning her at a year but she would still want to nurse at bedtime til about 14 months.  I could easily distract her at her regular nursing times.

     Dash is having nothing of it. He had no problems nursing and he has never taken a bottle.  He knew I had the "goods" so there was no way he would take a bottle from me. Well here we are coming up on 15 months and he has no intention of stopping.  I have nightmares of being perceived as the mother on TIME magazine nursing her pre-schooler.  There is nothing wrong that, but it is not who I am.  I am ready to close up shop.  I am ready to drink wine and SkinnyGirl Margaritas!  But Dash has no desire to stop.  If we go to long and I try the distraction method he ends up very upset and pulling at my tatas.  So as much as I am ready to be done I don't want him to be upset with this decision.  I would like for us to gradually cutback. I never thought a man would be so obsessed with my boobs!  I have sworn my husband to secrecy that we still nurse.  I can't take any more judgements.

     The judgements and unwanted opinions are something I was not prepared for in embarking on motherhood.  I have had strangers look at my baby in the store then ask if I am nursing?  How crazy is that?  Leave a mother alone.  Tell her she has a beautiful baby and move on!  I guess I felt I must confess to the great unknown of the Internet.  Hopefully he will stop before college.

Are You Ready For Motherhood?

   "Is that poop or chocolate?"  If you are ready to ask and find out the answer to that question...you might be ready for motherhood.

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

     Here is my first go with a post that is TMI (consider yourself warned). I am finding my voice for this blog and I laugh at other people's potty humor so let's see if mine can make you laugh or sympathize.

Have you ever seen that show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"?   That show haunts me. Especially since I am not on the pill, and do not plan on going back on it, but also am trying to wean Dash so I haven't had a period since August 2010!

  I think how can these people not know?  Did they not notice any weight gain? Any extra irritability? Hormonal?  Exhaustion? 

Fast forward to now.  I am in bed. Actually sleeping.  And I get a cramp in my stomach. No big deal. A few minutes later it happens again. This continues in about 5 min. intervals for a while then when I think about those "phantom" baby kicks I felt the last two nights.  Maybe they aren't phantom?   Have I gained weight? Yes! ( It couldn't possibly be my self medication of chocolate for depression.) Am I exhausted? Yes! ( I chase two kids all day.)  Irritable? Don't even get me started.  I start to freak out.

Have I ever mentioned my tendency to always jump to the worst case scenario? Not that having another baby would be the worst thing, by no means, but giving birth in a toilet would be the worst way to enter the world.

After another half an hour I am getting really worried.  Finally the colon contractions have come to fruition.  It's a .... well you know.  Wow- I think I could win a gold medal for over-reacting.

Jinx

   BTW since posting this I have lost Dish Jenga TWICE!  Tonight's dishes were especially difficult.  I broke a plate,  then 30 min. later a pan fell and broke a glass.  I am blaming that one on our ghost Martha.

Dish Jenga

     Our dishwasher has a name.... It's Ms. Lady Mama ( yes and Ms. Lady Daddy helps too!).  When we first bought our house the first major purchase I thought would be a dishwasher.  I researched portable dishwashers, was all geared up to buy, then little things like plumbing and electrical took precedent.  And I learned that washing dishes is not all that bad.  If you have to rinse the dishes before you put them in a dishwasher, might as well just wash them.  I would wash dishes all day long ( which basically I do).  I also learned that I hate putting them away.  I don't know why.  Once I get started putting them away it's no big deal.  It's just taking that first step.  I will go to great lengths to not start this process.  I have mastered the art of "Dish Jenga.". "What is that?" you might ask.  It's along the same lines as "Beer Can Jenga"-( just google it or search you tube for videos- it can be entertaining).  Beer Can Jenga is when someone has passed out from alcohol consumption and their "friends" proceed to stack beer cans on them til they wake up or the stack falls.  Since there are no wild parties in my life anymore I now play with the dishes.  Not nearly as entertaining but it's a challenge no less.  There are two rules to Dish Jenga: all dishes in the sink must washed, all dishes must be stacked on the dish rack.  You lose if they fall, you break a dish, or you have to give up and put some dishes elsewhere to dry.  I will find anyway to stack every dish, sippy cup, silverware we own on our dish rack in the hopes that Ms. Lady Daddy will give in nd put them away.  I see the frustration on his face when I start the dinner dishes and the lunch dishes are still on the drying rack.  He then silently starts to put them away.  He is a good man. 
      While thinking more about this I realize I do the same thing with laundry.  Not the Jenga part, well I guess I do see how high the pile can get on the dryer, but not liking putting clothes away.  I will wash, dry, even iron but putting them away is awful.  I don't know what this says about me.  I am all about finishing what you start.  I think the kink in both of these processes is you have to wait. Wait for them to dry.  So there is a break in the process and when I do something I want to do it all at once.  Guess I am not very patient.  My hubby would act shocked and say "No way!" What's  worse is I see this passing on to my kids.  Must be more patient!

MDO

     We received the letter I have secretly been dreading but also anxiously awaiting, Mother's Day Out Open House.  I almost get giddy when I think about the prospect of 10 hours a week to myself.  Well not really for myself.  But 10 hours to actually clean the house, grocery shop, run errands, maybe even exercise and catch up on the craft projects that are collecting dust.  But the reality of MDO also makes me panic and feel guilty.  Neither Ladybug nor Dash are going to want to go. I feel extreme guilt about Dash.  I know Ladybug is at the age where she needs more socialization or else kindergarten will be a nightmare.  I feel like I am cheating Dash by sending him so young.  But I also know that I am losing my mind at the chaos of trying to accomplish my "to do" list with the two of them.  My hope is that I will feel better about myself because I will be soo much more productive  and can spend more quality time with them instead of things taking twice as long to accomplish.

     Here are my other fears:

1. I know there will be tears when I leave them.  What if they don't stop all day?  I have been called to the church nursery recently for Dash's "mommy-itis.". I don't want to break their hearts or have them feel abandoned.
2. What if the other kids don't like them? 
3. What if the teachers don't like them?  I am scared my kids might be high maintenance and of course no one tolerates that like their mother.  
4. What if Ladybug won't tell them she needs to potty?
5. Dash was in the process of weaning then he got sick and that went out the window...better get back on that. (more on that topic)
6. What if Ladybug says a bad word she learned from Ms. Lady ( I've been trying to do better!)
7. What if they don't cooperate?  What if they are the "bad" kids?
8. What if they get in trouble? Of course they need to be disciplined but to have someone else scold my child, which of course I would want them to if they deserved it, but I don't want someone to have to do that.
9. What if they don't think my kids are as cute as I think are?

Oh I am scared and nervous! Maybe they won't go.  Lord knows we don't need to be spending the money on this.  It makes me feel like I am selfish to want to have this time, but it is a necessity at this point.  We will see what happens.

       My babies truly are my heart and soul and I want to protect them from any and everything.  And 

now here they go out into the world without me....ok out into a Baptist church without me.