Friday, August 3, 2012


     We received the letter I have secretly been dreading but also anxiously awaiting, Mother's Day Out Open House.  I almost get giddy when I think about the prospect of 10 hours a week to myself.  Well not really for myself.  But 10 hours to actually clean the house, grocery shop, run errands, maybe even exercise and catch up on the craft projects that are collecting dust.  But the reality of MDO also makes me panic and feel guilty.  Neither Ladybug nor Dash are going to want to go. I feel extreme guilt about Dash.  I know Ladybug is at the age where she needs more socialization or else kindergarten will be a nightmare.  I feel like I am cheating Dash by sending him so young.  But I also know that I am losing my mind at the chaos of trying to accomplish my "to do" list with the two of them.  My hope is that I will feel better about myself because I will be soo much more productive  and can spend more quality time with them instead of things taking twice as long to accomplish.

     Here are my other fears:

  1. I know there will be tears when I leave them.  What if they don't stop all day?  I have been called to the church nursery recently for Dash's "mommy-itis.". I don't want to break their hearts or have them feel abandoned.
  2. What if the other kids don't like them? 
  3. What if the teachers don't like them?  I am scared my kids might be high maintenance and of course no one tolerates that like their mother.  
  4. What if Ladybug won't tell them she needs to potty?
  5. Dash was in the process of weaning then he got sick and that went out the window...better get back on that. (more on that topic)
  6. What if Ladybug says a bad word she learned from Ms. Lady ( I've been trying to do better!)
  7. What if they don't cooperate?  What if they are the "bad" kids?
  8. What if they get in trouble? Of course they need to be disciplined but to have someone else scold my child, which of course I would want them to if they deserved it, but I don't want someone to have to do that.
  9. What if they don't think my kids are as cute as I think are?
Oh I am scared and nervous! Maybe they won't go.  Lord knows we don't need to be spending the money on this.  It makes me feel like I am selfish to want to have this time, but it is a necessity at this point.  We will see what happens.

       My babies truly are my heart and soul and I want to protect them from any and everything.  And 
now here they go out into the world without me....ok out into a Baptist church without me.

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